My parents are moving to Arizona and I am a bit torn, now. I have to figure out how to move my spirit pets as well as my four live dogs and live cat. We will have a very full car.

Also, Arizona is the land of the sun. What does that mean to my migraines. But, it also means no allergies. Is that better? I have trouble with mirgraines with allergies. Maybe it is better to to move and have no allergy medication.

Of course the housing market means we cant do anything for a couple of years. Also I cant transfer jobs for a couple of years until my health improve enough for my job to be willing to transfer me, too.

Then again, maybe I need a fresh start.

So many paths.

I had to take two maxalt - two migraine pills because the spinning and and throwing up and confusion and ringing. I cant drive or read right now. I am frustrated because I feel like I am moving backwards. I will call my doctor in the morning and see if an adjustment will make things better.

I had hoped a diagnosis would have cured me. At least have made things better.



I have to be patient. Positive. It is hard to be light hearted when the light hurts. I spend most of my time with my four dogs. They love me and are always happy. They are light hearted and full of love.

Rrmember - life and nature must be balanced.

I myself have had too much dark, and am brinking out the light.

This article is partly why I was so drawn to the dark - it made me feel safe.

I think also, because of my migraines I have had, in the past- mildly- I was also photophobic, the light made me feel uncomfortable.

Now I must find a way to carry a light within me, while walking in the dark.

I do still love this article, though!


Dark Forces
By: Konstantinos

Accuse me of being obsessed with darkness. Go ahead. I’ll only ask you to use a stronger word, and tell you that I’m not alone. No, I’m not referring here to the legion of Nightkind who see things in the same, ahem, light. I’ve made it clear how dear these adults and children are to me, but it is not of them that I speak.

It turns out that scientists are pretty hung up on the dark as well. Oh yes — real, respected scientists. In fact, in the last decade or so, the most fascinating work being done in Quantum Mechanics and Cosmology has been in the study of dark matter and dark energy. The former is a type of matter that is invisible yet believed to occupy as much as 95 percent of the known universe. The latter is an energy that is believed to be accelerating the growth of the universe.

What we have in these delightfully-named concepts are the secrets to real occult power, finally being understood by the accepted scientific community. One piece at a time, the science of the hidden, or the occult, is being encountered and quantified, most often under the bizarre phenomena that abound in Quantum Mechanics. It’s a great time to be a student of the dark arts.

How does an understanding of dark matter and dark energy help one achieve mastery over the unseen world? How does it not? We’re dealing here with a form of matter that touches most of creation, and a type of energy that is proven to accelerate the ongoing process of creation — the ongoing expansion of the universe from the Big Bang. Powerful stuff, indeed.

As close as scientists are coming to quantifying the darkness that permeates all, they’re not very close to harnessing its power. We’ll probably have fusion-powered cars before one microwatt of dark energy is used in any way … in a lab, that is.

You can use dark matter and energy to your advantage this very night. The occultist already has the tools needed to call forth and apply cosmic forces, be they dark or light. Again, I choose the dark. When dealing with tricky things like, oh, altering reality, it’s best to stick to what is most comfortable.

The tools are quite simple, actually: psychodrama and sympathetic links. Forget years of concentration training. Forget studying at the heels of so-called ascended masters who are more interested in having an indentured servant than in passing along wisdom. Master the art of using psychodrama and linking it to a universal force, and said universal force is at your disposal.

The psychodrama is the “dressing” in a ritual: candles, incense, chanting, mystical symbols or other preparatory methods — whatever it takes to get you to activate the part of your mind that’s in tune with the unseen energy of the universe. We walk around in the waking world very much asleep. Psychodrama awakens the parts of our brains that can do more amazing things than typing and ordering at Starbucks, as important as those things may be.

The sympathetic link concept has been used to apply heightened consciousness to some useful goal. Voodoo dolls let you send energy someone’s way, with the doll acting as a link to the person. Here’s where occultism can get extra potent, though. What if instead of just applying the principle of sympathetic magic to a goal or object we apply it to accessing a powerful force? To access the dark matter that permeates all of creation, and to have the entropic power of dark energy at your disposal, all you need is something to act as a sympathetic link to the darkness.

Enter sweet night. Step outside and you can almost feel it as an etheric field. This is the best sympathetic link to dark matter and energy that there is. Why worry about physics concepts like the speed of light and trying to send out your magick at such a blistering rate? Dark is faster than light. It’s already there!

The dark rites I introduce in Nocturnicon allow you full access to forces that may have scared away explorers of the unseen in the past. Death magick, Lovecraftian beings, helpful daemons and Lucifer himself await you in its pages. The psychodrama is there to create astonishing changes in the rest of your nights.

Unlike with the dark explorations in Nocturnal Witchcraft and Gothic Grimoire, the magick of Nocturnicon does not depend on a specific deity belief system. In fact, these rituals don’t even mention or utilize a supreme being. The only thing you’ll be relying upon is the godlike ability latent in all of us. Being made of the same unseen energy and matter as the cosmos, we can access and manipulate it.

Brave enough to give it a try? No one to my knowledge has been carried away screaming by the forces you’ll be calling forth. At least, no one who lived to tell about it …

Since I have gotten rid of the entity on my neck which I have had for as long as I can remember, my aura has changed from yellow to violet/indigo color. My husband is not very good at describing colors, so he keeps describing a bluey/purply then lavender, depending on where he is looking. He says I have silverish or whitish rays coming out of my hands though and my hands are kind of greenish and so is my chest area. he says I have goldish speckles around my head that has a violet extends around my head farther from my body than it used to. He also says it seems to be in flux, like it is settling down after having the soul eater gone.

I still have to discuss how I finally removed that from me. It involved a very long six hour death walking and soul retrieval that will take a very long time to describe. I will describe it in short detail because I don't want to give too many details to someone not trained in the shaman skills. A little bit of information can be dangerous.

I was hoping the migraines would be gone afterwards, but I should have realized they entity was with my whole life- from a past life, in fact - so getting rid of that would not make the migraines go away. It will, however, make it easier for me to heal myself and live with them. The migraines is still a part of a neurological re-wiring and ascension process and is still a wonderful thing that I will be grateful that happened.

I am also doing daily protections and clearing of my energetic fields, which helps a lot, too.

I will do a separate post about some interesting past life info I got on my brother and why I feel the need to take care of him so.


I am a new person and I am grateful and happy. I am now the light in the darkness, not blind in the dark.

I have been doing a lot of mediating on the astral feeder on the back of my neck. I also have several friends and a separate circle doing the same. They do not know each other and I keep the info separate and I have not been posting until now to not influence the information.

All of them came and myself relate the entity and the illness as trying to stop my advancment partly towards strengthening spiritually as a teacher, but mostly towards preventing me from being a guardian of the gates or the portals.

I have to run, but I had a very significant dream after I realized and accepted this to be true last night. It is going to take a long time to post the dream with the owl, but it will clarify how important this work is.

I have the paperwork requesting i work for home for 4-6 weeks while I get used to the side effects from topamax. I am very nervous about filling out the paperwork. If I put in something wrong, I may get denied.


It asks do you believe it to be permenant or temporary. Well the condition is permenant, but who knows about what will be permenant or temporary. If it is temporary will they decline me? If it is permenant will they decline me? This is all very scary and confusing.


It is hard when people do not understand that when my husband accidently turned on the kitchen light when I was in there, I became so ill, I vomited and still sick this morning. You just can't explain this type of light sensitivity to someone who has not experienced it. I am really afriad they will try to adjust one or two lights above me deskt. This does not work for me. I can't walk through walmart without getting sick even with a hat, scarf and sunglasses to filter out the fourescent light. I will have to walkt to the bathroom. The break room? The cafeteria? The store? The credit union? They are supposed to make these accesible to folks with disabilities, so I guess this means replacing all these lights and the walkways in between, right? Walk from the dooor to my desk? Go from meetings from my desk. They have almost two square miles of lights - it is not affordable to repace all the bulbs. I think working from home for a couple of weeks or a month is a more reasonable option for now.

The damned light is still killing me. Even low levels at home hurts. I have blocked the light. My husband has been painting the rooms darker. I have to find an option to going outside at night. I can go in my yard because I live in the country but I cant ride in the car because of the headlights. Working in the middle of the night works for me i guess but at work they still have flourescent lights. it would be very expensive for them to replace all the bulbs and even with hats and a scarf and sun glasses the light still bothers me. What to do?

I have been doing a little research. This seems to help for some people.

http://irlen.com/index.php?id=113


They are pretty expensive, though, so I can't afford them. It is cheaper for work, though, if it actually works. The questions is, though, do they work? I hope they do. If anyone has tried them, please let me know.

Apparantly if you use the wrong color filter, though, it can make it worse. The closest diagnostician is in North Carolina. I have read on some nuero stuff that yellow sun glasses can trigger seizure and sunglasses so it does make sense. For now I am hoping it can help.