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Many have switched to CFLs (compact fluorescent lamps) in these challenging economic times simply to save money. However no public education at all has been given about how to safely dispose of broken bulbs to avoid mercury contamination, and it seems unavoidable that there will be seepage from garbage tips into groundwater in years to come that will affect water supplies – a disaster waiting to happen.
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/8918
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Also, Arizona is the land of the sun. What does that mean to my migraines. But, it also means no allergies. Is that better? I have trouble with mirgraines with allergies. Maybe it is better to to move and have no allergy medication.
Of course the housing market means we cant do anything for a couple of years. Also I cant transfer jobs for a couple of years until my health improve enough for my job to be willing to transfer me, too.
Then again, maybe I need a fresh start.
So many paths.
I had hoped a diagnosis would have cured me. At least have made things better.
I have to be patient. Positive. It is hard to be light hearted when the light hurts. I spend most of my time with my four dogs. They love me and are always happy. They are light hearted and full of love.
I myself have had too much dark, and am brinking out the light.
This article is partly why I was so drawn to the dark - it made me feel safe.
I think also, because of my migraines I have had, in the past- mildly- I was also photophobic, the light made me feel uncomfortable.
Now I must find a way to carry a light within me, while walking in the dark.
I do still love this article, though!
Dark Forces
By: Konstantinos
Accuse me of being obsessed with darkness. Go ahead. I’ll only ask you to use a stronger word, and tell you that I’m not alone. No, I’m not referring here to the legion of Nightkind who see things in the same, ahem, light. I’ve made it clear how dear these adults and children are to me, but it is not of them that I speak.
It turns out that scientists are pretty hung up on the dark as well. Oh yes — real, respected scientists. In fact, in the last decade or so, the most fascinating work being done in Quantum Mechanics and Cosmology has been in the study of dark matter and dark energy. The former is a type of matter that is invisible yet believed to occupy as much as 95 percent of the known universe. The latter is an energy that is believed to be accelerating the growth of the universe.
What we have in these delightfully-named concepts are the secrets to real occult power, finally being understood by the accepted scientific community. One piece at a time, the science of the hidden, or the occult, is being encountered and quantified, most often under the bizarre phenomena that abound in Quantum Mechanics. It’s a great time to be a student of the dark arts.
How does an understanding of dark matter and dark energy help one achieve mastery over the unseen world? How does it not? We’re dealing here with a form of matter that touches most of creation, and a type of energy that is proven to accelerate the ongoing process of creation — the ongoing expansion of the universe from the Big Bang. Powerful stuff, indeed.
As close as scientists are coming to quantifying the darkness that permeates all, they’re not very close to harnessing its power. We’ll probably have fusion-powered cars before one microwatt of dark energy is used in any way … in a lab, that is.
You can use dark matter and energy to your advantage this very night. The occultist already has the tools needed to call forth and apply cosmic forces, be they dark or light. Again, I choose the dark. When dealing with tricky things like, oh, altering reality, it’s best to stick to what is most comfortable.
The tools are quite simple, actually: psychodrama and sympathetic links. Forget years of concentration training. Forget studying at the heels of so-called ascended masters who are more interested in having an indentured servant than in passing along wisdom. Master the art of using psychodrama and linking it to a universal force, and said universal force is at your disposal.
The psychodrama is the “dressing” in a ritual: candles, incense, chanting, mystical symbols or other preparatory methods — whatever it takes to get you to activate the part of your mind that’s in tune with the unseen energy of the universe. We walk around in the waking world very much asleep. Psychodrama awakens the parts of our brains that can do more amazing things than typing and ordering at Starbucks, as important as those things may be.
The sympathetic link concept has been used to apply heightened consciousness to some useful goal. Voodoo dolls let you send energy someone’s way, with the doll acting as a link to the person. Here’s where occultism can get extra potent, though. What if instead of just applying the principle of sympathetic magic to a goal or object we apply it to accessing a powerful force? To access the dark matter that permeates all of creation, and to have the entropic power of dark energy at your disposal, all you need is something to act as a sympathetic link to the darkness.
Enter sweet night. Step outside and you can almost feel it as an etheric field. This is the best sympathetic link to dark matter and energy that there is. Why worry about physics concepts like the speed of light and trying to send out your magick at such a blistering rate? Dark is faster than light. It’s already there!
The dark rites I introduce in Nocturnicon allow you full access to forces that may have scared away explorers of the unseen in the past. Death magick, Lovecraftian beings, helpful daemons and Lucifer himself await you in its pages. The psychodrama is there to create astonishing changes in the rest of your nights.
Unlike with the dark explorations in Nocturnal Witchcraft and Gothic Grimoire, the magick of Nocturnicon does not depend on a specific deity belief system. In fact, these rituals don’t even mention or utilize a supreme being. The only thing you’ll be relying upon is the godlike ability latent in all of us. Being made of the same unseen energy and matter as the cosmos, we can access and manipulate it.
Brave enough to give it a try? No one to my knowledge has been carried away screaming by the forces you’ll be calling forth. At least, no one who lived to tell about it …
I still have to discuss how I finally removed that from me. It involved a very long six hour death walking and soul retrieval that will take a very long time to describe. I will describe it in short detail because I don't want to give too many details to someone not trained in the shaman skills. A little bit of information can be dangerous.
I was hoping the migraines would be gone afterwards, but I should have realized they entity was with my whole life- from a past life, in fact - so getting rid of that would not make the migraines go away. It will, however, make it easier for me to heal myself and live with them. The migraines is still a part of a neurological re-wiring and ascension process and is still a wonderful thing that I will be grateful that happened.
I am also doing daily protections and clearing of my energetic fields, which helps a lot, too.
I will do a separate post about some interesting past life info I got on my brother and why I feel the need to take care of him so.
I am a new person and I am grateful and happy. I am now the light in the darkness, not blind in the dark.
It asks do you believe it to be permenant or temporary. Well the condition is permenant, but who knows about what will be permenant or temporary. If it is temporary will they decline me? If it is permenant will they decline me? This is all very scary and confusing.
It is hard when people do not understand that when my husband accidently turned on the kitchen light when I was in there, I became so ill, I vomited and still sick this morning. You just can't explain this type of light sensitivity to someone who has not experienced it. I am really afriad they will try to adjust one or two lights above me deskt. This does not work for me. I can't walk through walmart without getting sick even with a hat, scarf and sunglasses to filter out the fourescent light. I will have to walkt to the bathroom. The break room? The cafeteria? The store? The credit union? They are supposed to make these accesible to folks with disabilities, so I guess this means replacing all these lights and the walkways in between, right? Walk from the dooor to my desk? Go from meetings from my desk. They have almost two square miles of lights - it is not affordable to repace all the bulbs. I think working from home for a couple of weeks or a month is a more reasonable option for now.
“The balance of nature, the world tree with feet in the ground and arms in the sky.
The twixt light between day and night, all are balance,
To be in that moment twixt and between,
The place where the wise had to hide from the oppressors.
All had to be cast as a shadow to go unseen”
Author unknown
I wish I knew where I got this, it is written down years ago in one of my many random collections of thoughts and quotes. I only know I did not write this.
First, a definiton:
"Some Wiccans hold that the Book of Shadows should be a repository strictly for spells and keep a separate book, sometimes called the "Book of Mirrors" to contain their thoughts, feelings and experiences concerning the practice of their faith (Scott Cunningham, Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner, Llewellyn Books, pp. 79-80)."
Perhaps they were called Book of Shadows because they of secrets One reason for this secrecy I have run across many times is because of the 4 pillars of magick. One of the four rules of the magus if you do not know these you will never be successful in magick is silence.
(You may have heard of the Four Powers of the Magus, or maybe the Four Rules of Magick. They are all the same thing, and are referred to as the Foundation of the Witch's Pyramid: To Know, to Dare, to Will, and to Be Silent.)
(for an excellent description of the witches pyramid, try this article http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=c
I tend to side with the with the idea of self preservation being the motivating factor for secrecy around Book of Shadows. The Burning Time, which I think in some ways continue today (to a MUCH smaller scale. I will post some articles later to show how theBurning Times from the past still vibrate into todays society.
Most people have learned of the term "Book of Shadows" thanks to the tv show "Charmed". I think this is a bit of a tragedy, as Book of Shadows are a sacred, personal and powerful things if created in a spiritual manner. Truth be told, this is part of the resason I have called my journal a Book of Mirros instead of the more familiar term.
I have heard of some 'fluffy' Wiccan's calling their Grimoire a 'Book of Light'. It must be remembered that just because something is dark does not necessarily mean its evil. There must be a balance. Do not fear the dark; rather learn to embrace it as well as the light, for we all have a dark side. Fluffy spirituality which is more of a fashion statement than anything is a topic I cannot get into at this time, even though annoys the piss out of me..
Ok, back on track. I have heard many times that ancient mystery schools used to have inscribed above their doors "Know Thyself". This means the dark side as well as the light.
The 'Book of Mirrors' is the tool I use to' Know Myself.' After writing notes and journals for years, I now find keeping in one central location, I can now go back and re-read it my thoughts. The separation of time allows me to see patterns, habits, strengths, and weaknesses that I could not see before. Thus, the 'shadows' of this book are those things you don't normally see in yourself, but only see in the Mirror. This is how I bring light to my shadow self and the shadows to my lighter side.
My Book of Mirrors makes me think of twilight, a moment when you can have bright light showing up like at dawn, or darkness descending, like at nightfall. None is good or bad, it's just twilight, a magical moment, between the worlds. I think the Book of Light is too swee and the Book of Shadows is too dark. The Mirror brings both sides into balance and view.
A Book of Mirrors can sometimes be more intimidating to begin than a Book of Shadows. While a Book of Shadows holds the details of your magical practice, the Book of Mirrors takes in your feelings about those activities and other things that affect your practice. This is where most of your spiritual growth will be reflected. The Book of Shadows is the Tool, the map; the Book of Mirrors is your journey . (This thought is still a bit rough, but I think you can see where I am going. I need to ease up on the road analogies. I get lost in the imagery.)
I think the extra effort and self examination is the reason many pagams don't keep a Book of Mirrors – preferring the immediate gratification of a quick spell or ritual but not wanting to accept their own responsibility for their growth. We are a society of instant gratifcation and external validation, afterall. Some may wait until they are ready for the challenge that comes with examining the Spirit. For others it is not that they are unwilling, but they are afraid.
For me, Magick, ritual, spirituality and responsibility are all interrelated and define who I am. This defines for the most part what makes it into my book of Mirrors. This is a reflection of my own personal magickal journey. I try to filter out the mundane of work and daily chores, but they do partly define my existence on this plane, so they will creep in occasionally as a part of my journal. I just hope as I progress spiritually, they will lose the prominence they held in the past.
I called up all the feelings opened myself up and let the light in. I could feel my entire body tingle and warm as I let in the divine. I could see the light pouring down from ahead, but I saw the shadow taking shape outside my window, becoming angry and jealous. As the light began to fade, the shodow came to me, thick and menacing.
I grabbed hold of the shadow as it tried to enter me and held it in my hand. I poured the light into the shadow. I could feel it turning to ash in my hand, slowly burning up and screaming.
When I was done, I was tired. So very tired. I could see the imprint of the shadow burnt into my hand, words that I did not understand on the palm of my right hand. They were faded. I have been forever touched by the shadow, but only on the surface. It is a reminder to myself that I am stronger.
I have a responsibility to be a warrior of the light. You can not truly eradictate the shadows unless you are willing to grab hold of the shadow. Without grabbing the shadow, it slips away to come again another day.
The scar marks me as as a target to other shadows, though. This is why they watch me and haunt my dreams. They are waiting for my strength to fail, my will to become weak. They want to release the shadow from my hand and to extingquish my light.
When I woke up, I wondered that the spirit guides let me remember this dream. I am nervous, because most of the time the concious mind not be aware. Lessons such as these are are meant to be learnt on the soul level, incorporated into the higher self. I am frighted that I need to learn this with all of my souls and selves. I must prepare and learn.
I wake up for 'real' this time.
Nilda saw something attached to me as well this morning. Usually I have just one or two, but she also picked up several other energies. She did not feel they were negative, but she also did not think it was my grandfather, either. I knew it was not him. My grandfather pops in occasionally, but when he does so, he lets you know he is around. I had to take mirrors down out of my bedroom for a while as I kept seeing things out of the corner of my eye when they are around or in the mirror. It does not scare me anymore, so I did put them back up after I painted this time. I have seen him a few times since I put them back up again. Of course, I put the bear made from the flannel shirt he wore all the time right next to the mirror, so he tends to show up by the shirt. They tend to find it easier to be associated with objects from their life. He wore that shirt all the time, so it seems to be easy for him to find the bear. I even took the bear with me to the hospital. He makes me feel safer.
I never try to communicate with him other than what he says in dreams. I am not strong enough, yet, to mess with opening doors - other things try to come through. The attachment of the energies I now have following me around is proof that is not a good idea. I dont even use a pendulum right now or a spirit board. Spirit boards should not be sold as toys!!!! This really is a pet peeve of mine. I was only working with elemental energies recently and they seem to have like hanging out at my place for some reason. My energy must taste good or something. I think in a few more years, once my sheilding is stronger, I will maybe work with more invocations. I only like to work when my brother is out of the house as well, so the times I can do this are limited.
My house protections are pretty strong, but my personal protections tend to be spotty. I dont like restricting access to people who may need me. I dont usually tend to wear out or run out of energy. I have more of a problem with leakage and too much energy building up. I work really well as a conduit or a superconductor. I can focus it and pass it on to others - if I dont it starts to get a little uncomfortable. I know now it is because I need stronger grounding. If I could manage that, I dont think I would be as visible. Now I feel like a lighthouse when I walk into a room of people or in public. People from great distances seem to be drawn in - good and evil equally. I just have trouble grounding. I can feed it to other folks forever. It just seems wasted to me to pass it on without it doing some good. Plus, lets face it, I am forever flying about in the starry night. It is hard to be grounded when you never touch the ground to do so.
- State of Mind:
calm
I have also held and hold the dark.
I no longer fear the light nor am trapped by the dark.
I can go into your deepest moments of dispair and darkness. I am not afraid there. Will you let me envelope you? Wrap myself around you?
I can lead you into the light, and teach you to carry both within you.
I am stronger now than you know or realize. I am going to start sending this to you, along a thread of light.
I have broken through a barrier and have found an amazing source of strength and hope. I have enough for myself, you, and anyone else who may need it.
I bear the light. I am the light.
- Music:lowen and navarro